Protecting Your Pastor
The following comment was posted to SunShineMary’s blog post titled “Cowardly Pastor”
Hi SSM – I have no quibble with the scriptures you cite, or your desire and expectation for your pastor to speak “the whole truth and nothing but.”
The issue I have is with the people in the pew not taking their role in ensuring that when they get the leadership like this, they support and defend him from the wolves in the pews dressed in sheep’s clothing. Instead they make it all about the pastor, and leave out any responsibility for their role in making the pastor’s work among them a joy to both the pastor and sheep. (If this sounds a lot like “women making it men’s fault that she feels unhaaapy”, it’s because there is a remarkable parallel between the two attitudes.)
It’s easy to say “Scripture says X, and therefore Pastor Y must do that, and that what I should expect” and not acknowledge the risk that such people run, or the protection and support they require from their fellow congregation members in order to carry out God’s instruction to His Shepherds.
Ken Crockett wrote a book on the subject, which I highly recommend. (http://www.kentcrockett.com/pastor_abusers_book.html). You can read an excerpt here, which describes what can happen to men who did exactly what you called for, and the harm and damage that followed because of miscreants in the congregation destroyed the pastor’s ministry while the faithful congregation members either did nothing or abandoned him and his family to the mistreatment of his abusers.
SSM: We in the pews have submitted ourselves to a lot of unbiblical doctrine. Why have we done this without protest? I wonder if it is in part because women en masse are in rebellion and have usurped men’s authority, and men have been too fearful to quell the uprising and have instead taken the coward’s path of least resistance?
“Itching ears” is nothing new, and it’s not confined “just” to rebellious women:
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 2 Ti 4:3–4
“Mass rebellion” has happened to Israel too – read all the OT references to “Korah” for a story of how all of Israel rebelled against Moses, Aaron, and God.
SSM: so we haven’t decided exactly what the right response is.
I would suggest education. “Wives submit to your husbands” has been mis-used in Christian circles for years as, so he may’ve been preaching to correct what he thought was a “common” error in understanding, and not have known the “other side of the coin” as it were. If such is the case, then he was doing what he believed to be exactly what you’re asking for as opposed to preaching in fear of how his female listeners might react to hearing both sides of those passages.
I know for myself, I shared that pastor’s opinion before I got red-pill’d and found out just how bad things are on the other side of the fence. Even now finding the “balance” is something I continue to struggle with.
With respect to your pastor, I would ask you and HHG to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him “What about women’s responsibility to submit in the marriage?” and see how he responds to that. If he’s open to hearing more, then present your case on what it’s like “in the real world”.
If he blows you off, well that’s another matter….